news flash
Check out the countdown clock to the left... we leave for Vietnam in one day! Tomorrow we get on a plane and head off to bring our baby home. Pretty dang cool if you ask me.
This brings me to an important point. We need our family and friends to understand that our initial time with Beckett will be slightly different than you might expect. For the first year of his life he has relied on a community of caregivers. Because said caregivers have been responsible for multiple children, he may have found himself in situations where he was hungry, frightened, lonely or confused, and nobody came to soothe his cries. In order to alleviate his concerns, he may have developed self soothing behaviors and might not be receptive to being held while crying. He is not accustomed to being fed when he is hungry, rather he and all of the other children are fed at specific times that work well for the caregivers. Like much in his current home, feeding is not leisurely and entertaining, but an efficient process intended to meet his basic needs. Despite how this may sound to you, he IS well cared for, but there is simply no substitute for parents and family who are exclusively devoted to his needs.
Once Beckett is officially ours, we will begin the task of changing his expectations. For at least the first 6 weeks, Ken and I will be the only ones who will feed him, diaper him, bathe him, and soothe him when he is crying. If there is the slightest inkling that he is hungry, he will be fed. If he begins to cry, he will be soothed. It is imperative that he understands that his needs will be met, and that they will be met by his parents. He will likely use a bottle longer than you might think necessary, but rest assured that there is method to the madness. If he were a toddler we would make sure that he had an endless food supply so that he would learn that hunger is the exception, not the norm. Since he is still so young, his bottle will be his endless supply. You may think we are feeding him too much, or that he is being coddled, or that we are spoiling him. Please trust that we are doing these things on purpose, and with very specific intent. We have done extensive reading and research, attended numerous classes, and talked with countless adoptive parents. This is the right option for our family. We MUST do everything in our power to establish a bond with our child and help him form an initial attachment to us, and then to our families.
This doesn't mean that we will never let anyone play with him or hold him. We will take our cues from the little dude. If he is up for it we will happily let others hold him. If he is having a bad day we will likely keep him closer to us. We want our family and friends to be involved in this process, but we also need you to be patient with us, to respect our parenting methods, and to understand that if we take him from you it's nothing personal.
We are so very grateful for everyone's support throughout this process and can't wait to introduce our Beckett to all of you! We will welcome anyone and everyone who wants to meet us at the airport when we return.
I'm off to run some errands, finalize the packing, and bake a batch of cookies to take on the plane for sharing with our travel group.
Did I mention that we leave TOMORROW? : )
This brings me to an important point. We need our family and friends to understand that our initial time with Beckett will be slightly different than you might expect. For the first year of his life he has relied on a community of caregivers. Because said caregivers have been responsible for multiple children, he may have found himself in situations where he was hungry, frightened, lonely or confused, and nobody came to soothe his cries. In order to alleviate his concerns, he may have developed self soothing behaviors and might not be receptive to being held while crying. He is not accustomed to being fed when he is hungry, rather he and all of the other children are fed at specific times that work well for the caregivers. Like much in his current home, feeding is not leisurely and entertaining, but an efficient process intended to meet his basic needs. Despite how this may sound to you, he IS well cared for, but there is simply no substitute for parents and family who are exclusively devoted to his needs.
Once Beckett is officially ours, we will begin the task of changing his expectations. For at least the first 6 weeks, Ken and I will be the only ones who will feed him, diaper him, bathe him, and soothe him when he is crying. If there is the slightest inkling that he is hungry, he will be fed. If he begins to cry, he will be soothed. It is imperative that he understands that his needs will be met, and that they will be met by his parents. He will likely use a bottle longer than you might think necessary, but rest assured that there is method to the madness. If he were a toddler we would make sure that he had an endless food supply so that he would learn that hunger is the exception, not the norm. Since he is still so young, his bottle will be his endless supply. You may think we are feeding him too much, or that he is being coddled, or that we are spoiling him. Please trust that we are doing these things on purpose, and with very specific intent. We have done extensive reading and research, attended numerous classes, and talked with countless adoptive parents. This is the right option for our family. We MUST do everything in our power to establish a bond with our child and help him form an initial attachment to us, and then to our families.
This doesn't mean that we will never let anyone play with him or hold him. We will take our cues from the little dude. If he is up for it we will happily let others hold him. If he is having a bad day we will likely keep him closer to us. We want our family and friends to be involved in this process, but we also need you to be patient with us, to respect our parenting methods, and to understand that if we take him from you it's nothing personal.
We are so very grateful for everyone's support throughout this process and can't wait to introduce our Beckett to all of you! We will welcome anyone and everyone who wants to meet us at the airport when we return.
I'm off to run some errands, finalize the packing, and bake a batch of cookies to take on the plane for sharing with our travel group.
Did I mention that we leave TOMORROW? : )
