angsty.

It's official. I'm all a twitter. I want to know what is going to happen with the VN adoption world. I want to know why all of these i600s are stalling out and when the US govt plans to properly staff the office that handles said crucial bits of paperwork. I want to know because I feel as if all of my future plans hinge on those crucial issues. I very much want to add another little person to the fam. Though I don't have any notion of doing this immediately, I feel as if it might be a good idea to start the ball rolling just in case things take a few years. For some crazy reason I can't get the idea of another child out of my head. It's probably some kind of girly hormone induced psychosis, or my personal version of the proverbial ticking clock, but I am increasingly feeling a pull towards kid number two and I don't quite know what to think about that at the moment. I'd really like to stop working but that definitely isn't going to happen with two kiddos. If the situation was different and I was suddenly pregnant then the decision would be instantly made and we would make things work. If adoption is the means by which your family grows it can be difficult not to over think the situation. I am very much a ride the current kind of gal. Planning is good but I embrace the fact that plans sometimes need revision. The husband is more of a static fellow. To him a plan is less of a blueprint and more of a concrete foundation, somewhat immovable. He worries about paying two college tuitions. I feel like student loans are ok. He frets over two cars. I figure they can share. He agonises over food costs, and incidentals, and scheduling conflicts. I assume that there would be less gourmet dining and more at home meals. I like to think that we would be able to juggle multiple football practices, or chess club, or band, or whatever. People do it all the time. Don't they? We both acknowledge the financial impact of two adoptions in close succession, but where it makes him queasy I know that it would be fine. Both of us are overwhelmed by the love that we have for our little dude and wonder if we could love another child to an equal degree. I know that sounds a bit silly, but it is a legitimate concern. Of course, I'm sort of in love with the notion of an unknown person so I'm sure we are both fully capable of being head over heels for two kiddos. We are in one moment resolute in our desire to start the process immediately, and in the next we think perhaps waiting would be best. My fear is that waiting means it will never happen and that makes me sad. And I know that this is something in which we both need to be fully invested. And I know that people can and do love multiple kids to the same degree. And I know that when/if the time is right we will know it. And I know there is no rush, but I think I mentioned that tug I've been feeling. See? Angsty. Bleh.