thank you, sir. may i have another?

I have a sickness. Truly. I want another kiddo around here. It's bad. Probably hormonal. Definitely insane. I've felt this way for a while but things are getting, er..., more intense. I think about names, and schools, and takings the boys (yeah, I said boys) to after school activities, and making cupcakes for class birthdays, and cleaning up scraped knees, and perpetually living in fear of the rogue lego or matchbox car beneath my bare foot. I contemplate weddings, and colleges, and, because I like to be prepared for surprises, approaches to parenting a homosexual son. I wonder about first dates, and driver's licenses, and scholarships and test scores. When I lay in bed at night and plan the next days events I think about how things would happen differently if I had to coordinate things with two little folks, and I develop theoretical plans of action, and then I am ever so slightly sad that there aren't two. At least until breakfast the next day when I begin to wonder if I would ever manage to dry my hair again if I had to take care of more than one dude each morning. Neuroses aside, what was once a far off thought has become a deeper palpable yearning for another little person in our house. A fourth to complete the clan.

Bex was real in my mind for much longer than I had a face to identify him with. Number two, whomever, where ever, he (or she) may be is becoming increasingy realy to my psyche. After bring home the boy, I assumed that number two would also be Vietnamese. Of course, in earlier years I never would have thought that I would be the mother to a boy who was born on the Mekong Delta. All that to say, I am increasingly curious about how number two will make his or her grand entrance to the family. Should be interesting.

And before you go getting any lofty ideas, I am absolutely, positively, not preggers. Also, the husband and I have an agreement to wait until July 2009 to file any adoption applications. Looks like I'm in for a long wait for that grand entrance. Ughhhhh... I need to stop obsessing but I just can't help myself.